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Shit Casual | December 16, 2017

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Dem Debate Teases Half Life 3 | Shit Casual

Dem Debate Teases Half Life 3

The live Democratic National Committee debate of the 2016 presidential election teases Valve’s Half Life 3.

Valve had done the impossible, going further than any other gaming company in regards to publicity.

Thanks to Gabe Newell’s political connections, he had managed to display three podiums for the Democratic debate.

We here at Shit Casual like to play coy, so we won’t go on record as to confirm that Half-Life 3 exists.

On the other hand, knowing that three podiums are there in existence means that Half-Life 3 is without a doubt confirmed.

While Newell has been silent on the political spectrum, he is on record for supporting the first candidate to announce Half-Life 3.

It wasn’t until the first moments of the debate when Bernie Sanders, a non-gamer, accidentally blurted out “Half-Life 3” in response to gun control.


“I know people in Vermont who spend half their lives on these issues,” Sanders said. “If you cut that to another uh, half-a-life, and a half-a-life two, a half-life two-and-a-half, and a half-life three, well you got yourselves so many lives on the issues.”


Newell immediately got up from his seat and slumped his shoulders, knowing he would do what was only written in legends–announce Half Life 3.

Not only would he have to support Bernie Sanders, but he would have to financially back his project for the arguably most-hyped first-person shooter to praise.


Clinton loses Gabe Newell support.

Clinton loses Gabe Newell support.


On the issues, Newell is a strong supporter of gun-control, explaining that guns can only be controlled with mouse and keyboard.

He supports automatic rifles, provided people are able to pay for them between rounds, and he’s in favour of creating safe spaces for terrorists and counter-terrorists to duke it out.

No release date is planned for Half Life 3, but that should leave plenty of time to gitgud. All this and more right here on Shit Casual.